Something no one tells you about when you are young is, the transition. The transition from old immediate family to new immediate family.
When you find a best friend, marry them and buy a house with them-you are planting a seed. A seed to a new immediate family. Eventually we start having children of our own, and we-as new parents-want to start creating memories with our children just as we did with our parents. Holidays become a fluttering mix of emotions. We as young parents still grasp onto those childhood memories and struggle to break away from old traditions that now interfere with new traditions we want to implement within our own household.
Growing up my parents were divorced. An ugly truth is-even when a child of a split family “grows up,” the burden (and blessing) of having multiple families never ever eases, and I married a man who’s parents were also divorced. If you’re the calculating type-that’s a minimum of 4 events to pencil in each holiday-one per side per parent. Thats 4 events, 4 days or time slots, 4 obligations or blessings; and 4 possibilities of feeling the guilt that comes with missing just one of them. Missing just one of them to start a new tradition with your newly expanding immediate family.
The transition is “normal”. There will be prioritizing, at least there should be. Some events won’t make the cut, and that’s okay. The transition won’t be easy, and there will likely be push back-but it is necessary. To keep budding as a family and creating those same memories that you hold so dear-you must put selfishness and selflessness aside and do what’s best your family. Your new immediate family.